Whenever I clash with my father, I have this crazy shit getting out of my mouth, and I’m wondering from where are these words coming. Having a chat with one of my friends we’ve figured it out it’s from the childhood memories when I was frustrated that I can’t do anything back or even say something. You see my father, was this ruthless parent that raised us a little bit more in an army style. I did understand that this came from his frustration gathered from his family, but that doesn’t mean that being like this is ok. Having a parent shouting at you all the time, never give you a glimpse that he is proud of your little achievements, it’s called abuse. Having a parent shouting just nasty things at you and calling you names it’s called abuse. Having a parent beating you it is called abuse. Sometimes when Sophia does something, I start shouting at her without even acknowledging that I’m doing it, when I realise that I yell at her, I feel small. Last night after I’ve clashed again with my father ,I’ve promised myself that I’m not going to let him do this to me never again. You see this relationship between him and me affected even the relationship that I have or had with other masculine figures. Having him being this bully in our family changed every aspect of us towards him. I hoped that once with the age he will start acknowledge,our actions like being truthful and from our hearts. I don’t see perfect parents or neither myself I’m not perfect,at least I’m trying. I know I’m not this loveable person and this is one of the reasons why. I learned that shutting your feelings is ok,like this you don’t have to deal with the disappointment and the pain. Dear father try harder to see, to love and cherish us, maybe acknowledge our feelings as well!