Sometimes we deal with new problems or situations that exist only in our mind ,this can be scary ,bringing this in a relationship can be challenging.This post is not about pointing fingers(only if someone has a problem with it than take the middle ).
Anxiety one of the problems that lots of us are struggling with.
I have been dealing with anxiety issues for a long time and when you start a new relationship everything becomes harder to deal with.
Anxiety is defined by uneasy feelings like worrying about problems that are not even there.This being said I have always dealt with trust issues and anxiety, I have always imagined that once I’m in a good nurtured relationship it won’t be that bad anymore,but I was wrong.My last relationship hadn’t been so healthy let’s say or that great and involuntary I compare the situations,I know it’s not fair but it’s neither square.
Now all my frustration and my anxiety have become worse as I always overthink the actions of my partner.
One small example:
If he doesn’t answer to my messages in a few hours (even though he is at work) I always wonder does he speaks with someone else?
I’m not good enough for his attention?
Or now because he have me I’m not that important anymore?
I’m not attractive to him anymore ?
These are tricky questions that I always have ,even though I Shouldn’t because he doesn’t give me reasons for it.
People with anxiety or that have been trough trauma needs lots of reassurance and love ,lots of communication ,compassion and understanding.
What I’m trying to say is ok to have those worries if you have someone near you that is educated enough to understand your difficulties and help you overcome them .
The anxiety can become problematic when you fit your behavior in order to secure their continued affection.Like not saying something that is bothering you in trying not to get your partner getting mad or upset.The first signs of anxiety in relationship appear at the beginning when the individuals get to know each other more and come to realisation that there are some different rituals like sleeping with the window open ,it’s the new things that come inevitably in the relationship so compromising can be tricky but usefully used can bring to a nice and good outcome.
It is hard for me to express my feelings as I’m afraid that he will take me for granted,so I open up really hard and the communication it’s there but not in the same way it should be.
I have learned that sometimes we don’t really listen to each other to comprehend each other just to give an answer back,this is wrong and I’m working on it.
The bottom line is
There are moments when you will not be able to entirely avoid all relationship anxiety, but there are things you can do to temper the constant questioning and spend more time actually enjoying what you have with your partner.
Thank you for being there for me and understanding my needy thoughts and thank you for willing to work with me for me ,you and us.
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